Thursday, December 6, 2012

Morning Rage - My roll in my preschoolers morning rebellion

Well, obviously, I'm keeping up with this blog!  It's only been 9 months since my last post.  Oh, and in that time I've had a baby!  Two children are more work than one but not as much more as I expected.  It's amazing how much easier the second baby is.  I know how to hold her, calm her, feed her, when to give her tummy medicine and when she just needs a binky.

I am writing today b/c I need to sort my thoughts out about super-mommy hood in the morning.  (Yes, it's an unattainable goal but definitely a direction in which to shoot!)  This morning was an epic fail.  I didn't prepare for the morning last night by getting Ruthie's lunch packed, getting her backpack packed, etc.  I didn't go to bed on time.  I didn't make sure my Iphone had enough juice for the alarm to work.  I didn't take care of my body yesterday so that I would feel good in the morning.  I didn't, I didn't, I didn't...  Well, at least I know where I went wrong.

The first impact on the morning as we are all waking late is my daughter's disappointment that Lilly our Christmas Elf was not hiding but still in her special chair.  (Whoops!  I didn't hide her before bed.)  I then tried to fix breakfast while instructing my 4 year old to get dressed.  She, of course, decided that today was slower-than-a-turtle day.  She's testing her boundaries with blatant disobedience.  You know what I mean, they make eye contact with you as they do the opposite of what you tell them.  It's normal but infuriating!  It has be be handled right, the child needs to be taught, given appropriate consequences with firmness and love.  Unfortunately, I did not keep it together this morning and there was yelling.  Here's the funny thing about yelling, it doesn't work!  Why, then does it seem to come out of my mouth!  Here's what I think, I was not mentally, emotionally, physically or spiritually prepared for the morning.  The choices that I made yesterday impacted my morning and in turn the morning of my daughter.  Had I taken care of myself physically I would have had more energy this morning.  The physical impacts the mental/emotional.  I may not have overslept.  I wouldn't have had to make lunch and could have taken more time to guide my little girl through the process.  Oh, and she wouldn't have needed to rush anyway if she had been woke up on time.

Mornings are important.  Today, I dropped off a very unhappy preschooler.  She was in no way mentally and emotionally prepared to learn.  I was also stressed which impacted my care for both children.  Everybody started off on the wrong foot.  While I can't assume all of the responsibility, I do know what my part is in all of this.  I can do better!

Friday, March 2, 2012

The Part That Matters

A dear friend gave me a wonderful book for my 16th birthday.  It was "No Wonder They Call Him The Savior" by Max Lucado.  His wonderful introduction asks the question: "What matters?"  You can read his wonderful answer here. 

Now, more than a couple of years later, that book still sticks out to me.  I agree with Max that spiritually, the Cross is the most important part of Christianity.  Now, in my early 30's I'm trying to figure out what matters most in the other areas of my life.  What matters in being a good wife?  What are the most important parts of being a good mother?  What about in my career?  What really matters there? 

I don't have the answers all figured out.  I have a few things figured out.  Time matters in the wife and mom area.  Time with my family, showing them love, taking time to listen, taking time to make sure their needs are met, etc.  With my career, it seems to be integrity.  Unfortunately, none of that comes with an easy answer.  I can spend hours and hours cleaning the house.  But, does that really matter as much as spending time coloring?  Does spending the whole day playing but not teaching my child to take care of her things seem like a wise choice?  How does a mom with a full time job, a husband and a 3 year old find the right balance?  So far, through trial and error.  Here are some of the things that I have figured out so far:
  • I try to turn everything possible into an experience together.  I almost never cook dinner without my tiny sidekick.  She has her jobs, her stool and a matching apron. 
  • We schedule a weekly family night with planned activities. (Most weeks.) 
  • We celebrate the small things.  (The little one went 2 nights dry so we went out for a special pizza meal. 
  • We split the chores (80/20ish but it still counts) so that I have time for the important things.
  • I work hard to keep my flexible job in good standing so that I have more time with Ruthie & Jared.
Anyway, I plan to write about things that I find that I think matter.  Or that are insignificant but fun.  I'm writing this primarily for myself but you are welcome to read along if you find a connection.